Tag Archive | womenempowerment

Are working women with kids ,selfish?


A very bold question that is .  Yet , it is the question being posed ,directly or indirectly by thousands of people across countries, to a lot of mothers. A misconception causing/forcing hundreds of women to leave the jobs after having kids !

This post has sprouted from a heated debate about women working after marriage, specifically after having kids.  Following are strongly spoken statements  , personally heard many of these from friends , relatives , strangers & so called ‘society!’ ! Are these expectations right?

If a woman refuses to give up her job after becoming a mother , she is selfish.

No , she wants to set an example to her child!

If a woman is career oriented ,  she doesn’t  care for the family.

That’s just ridiculous! Ever heard about  work-life balance?

If a woman prefers to work and not leave the job after marriage ,she is arrogant.

  Yes, Apparently because there is no need for the woman to work ! what?!

If a woman wants to grow in her career and not just be a sit at home mother , she is deemed not to care about the kid . But, if the father works day and night and has no time for the family , he is deemed to be working for the family. why?

 Because he is the man of the house. Period.

Motherly love is more crucial to the child than fathers , so the mother should leave the job for the sake of the child while the father supports the family! Mother blaming.

Wrong , check this research article!

http://www.spsp.org/news-center/press-releases/fathers-love-one-greatest-influences-personality-development

Here comes A convo :

Bride seeking family: We want a woman who isn’t career-oriented and would leave the job if necessary!

Me:  Is this asked to a guy? No! Why?

BSF: Because , the guy cannot resign .

Me: Why?

BSF: Guy has responsibilities, he has to take care of the family!

Me: Stunned!

what do you mean by if necessary?

BSF: Once the kid is born , we want her to leave the job because mother’s love is important !

Me: How about father’s love? Will he leave the job if necessary?!

BSF: That’s why girls shouldn’t study too much!

Me: <It’s useless to talk ! >  I have to go.

While there are people supporting working women , many aren’t .

I hope this changes for good, because working women do care for their family and kids just as the working men do .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My thoughts on Vogue Empower video..


 

As I was randomly changing the channels , I suddenly came across this video of Vogue .. I’ve seen it a couple of times before but never completely / never paying attention (as for every ad ) . But when I saw it completely it shocked me!

 I was expecting an entirely different message from it the way it started. It starts with a cute lil just born being said “boys don’t cry by his father! A just born baby! Sigh! That itself startled me.. I was like Okayy, whats’ this!! and continued watching it .. and then of a cute lil boy around 1 year crying to bathe.. As soon as I saw this boy , me and my sis were like he looks like our newphew so cute and then his mother tells the same dialogue…

It proceeds with cute video clips of baby boys being told “Ladke rothe nahin!” (BOYS DONT CRY) on various occasions…. on the first day to school,,.. while being left for the first class on the first day of school…when the mother leaves the kid to go out of town…when hurt while playing ..on the first swim lesson … when faced with an injection…

It’s then the grown ups being told the same by their peers! When he loses the football match ,when he wins a trophy,when he is heart broken .. and the next image would be that of a man holding a girls hand tightly…

Pausing at this frame I thought its the guy asking the girl not to leave him..the way he is trying to swallow the emotions ,the way he is trying hard not to cry because he grew up hearing “Boys dont cry!”  I felt the message would be “Don’t hold the emotions” or something on the similar lines.. Stating how unfair it is to hold the emotions inside and break from within…

Continuing..  I saw he was actually hurting her by physically abusing her ! Yet , I still thought the message would be “If you hold the emotions, you lose the concept of emotions” i.e that would backfire and make you emotionless,violent. So please don’t make monsters out of innocent boys..

But, the actual message is instead of teaching “ladke rothe nahin” teach “ladke rulate nahin” ! That truly shocked me! I’m all for empowering women and going against physical abuse. I appreciate what they are trying to do, but this .. I definitely didn’t like! It would have been nice if for once , it spoke about the unfairness towards guys as well…

That being said ,feminism has totally gained a very bad reputation in the society .It’s being totally misunderstood that I sometimes shy away from using that word just to avoid the explanation needed after it.  I hear my friends saying “Ye completely feminist hai! Obviously ladkiyon ko hi support karegi” etc..  and they mean I support girls all the time ! That’s very disappointing to hear though ideally i shouldn’t be ,as the word used is perfect, but the intent of using it holds an entirely different meaning and that disappoints me! I believe feminism is fairness to every gender!

If ladies not being allowed to go out to study is unfair , telling guys to not cry and man up is equally unfair! That’s feminism being just and fair.. from my perspective..

I hope this article clears any mis-conceptions people might have about feminism and start taking it as a positive thing from now on.. 🙂

Find the video here: