Tag Archive | Heforshe

You are a girl!


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This title can be interpreted in two ways – positively,  negatively. Sadly the first thing that comes to me is negative.

Yes , this is so often used to insult that this particular sentence is something that no girl wants to hear anymore.

It is so liberally used by everyone – relatives, friends, colleagues , strangers and in some cases sadly parents too. Most saddening part is even girls/women use it without knowing the impact it is generating.

While most of them might not be aware of the impact of it or might not be even aware that it is insulting, it is not something I wish to hear anymore until the image changes.

Let the convos speak for themselves:

(guy/girl)Friend : I know a guy , he cries like a girl every-time he sees sad endings.

Me: Correction , he cries .period. Girls cry , guys cry. In-fact any human with emotions will cry. So he cries .

Friend: Here comes the supporter of the woman  ! Y don’t u take it on a lighter note .

Me: Well , I did for many years . Many do , which is the reason for the existence of this usage.

 

Colleague : Stop gossiping like a girl man !

Me: ahm , excuse me? (I ain’t gonna tolerate this every-time) . That’s very offensive I must say. I hope at-least educated people understand this.

 

Class mate: Y do u want to work when u can get married and chill? I have to work because I’m a guy

Girl: Because , I did not get bonus marks for being a girl in exams. I studied just as hard as u . I have to work because I’m a girl .

 

A stranger in bus: I see that you are travelling alone , where is ur husband?

Me: I am unmarried , I’m still studying.

Stranger: Haw! Girls shouldn’t study so much ! Just do some degree and get married , he will support u. Shop all day and enjoy.

Me: Looks like u r stuck in ancient times. Thank you for ur advice. But , please dont stop ur girl from studying if she wants to.

 

The most common one – your favorite color must be pink because you are a girl!

me: I have no favorite color. Yes , I don’t . I like each color on different things.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20141117-the-pink-vs-blue-gender-myth

While many support girls studying now, small things like -stop acting like a girl , don’t cry like a girl , don’t be a girl , don’t gossip like a girl , don’t run like a girl etc etc – hurt even though we/I might not show it out , because if I do .. – I over react for everything because I’m a girl.

I hope people stop using those phrases . It’s not hard I promise. Next time just say stop gossiping , don’t cry.. isn’t it easy? Try it.

There is an ad that I came across which pretty much summarizes it all :

 

Image courtesy: Google images

Are working women with kids ,selfish?


A very bold question that is .  Yet , it is the question being posed ,directly or indirectly by thousands of people across countries, to a lot of mothers. A misconception causing/forcing hundreds of women to leave the jobs after having kids !

This post has sprouted from a heated debate about women working after marriage, specifically after having kids.  Following are strongly spoken statements  , personally heard many of these from friends , relatives , strangers & so called ‘society!’ ! Are these expectations right?

If a woman refuses to give up her job after becoming a mother , she is selfish.

No , she wants to set an example to her child!

If a woman is career oriented ,  she doesn’t  care for the family.

That’s just ridiculous! Ever heard about  work-life balance?

If a woman prefers to work and not leave the job after marriage ,she is arrogant.

  Yes, Apparently because there is no need for the woman to work ! what?!

If a woman wants to grow in her career and not just be a sit at home mother , she is deemed not to care about the kid . But, if the father works day and night and has no time for the family , he is deemed to be working for the family. why?

 Because he is the man of the house. Period.

Motherly love is more crucial to the child than fathers , so the mother should leave the job for the sake of the child while the father supports the family! Mother blaming.

Wrong , check this research article!

http://www.spsp.org/news-center/press-releases/fathers-love-one-greatest-influences-personality-development

Here comes A convo :

Bride seeking family: We want a woman who isn’t career-oriented and would leave the job if necessary!

Me:  Is this asked to a guy? No! Why?

BSF: Because , the guy cannot resign .

Me: Why?

BSF: Guy has responsibilities, he has to take care of the family!

Me: Stunned!

what do you mean by if necessary?

BSF: Once the kid is born , we want her to leave the job because mother’s love is important !

Me: How about father’s love? Will he leave the job if necessary?!

BSF: That’s why girls shouldn’t study too much!

Me: <It’s useless to talk ! >  I have to go.

While there are people supporting working women , many aren’t .

I hope this changes for good, because working women do care for their family and kids just as the working men do .