Tag Archive | feminism

You are a girl!


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This title can be interpreted in two ways – positively,  negatively. Sadly the first thing that comes to me is negative.

Yes , this is so often used to insult that this particular sentence is something that no girl wants to hear anymore.

It is so liberally used by everyone – relatives, friends, colleagues , strangers and in some cases sadly parents too. Most saddening part is even girls/women use it without knowing the impact it is generating.

While most of them might not be aware of the impact of it or might not be even aware that it is insulting, it is not something I wish to hear anymore until the image changes.

Let the convos speak for themselves:

(guy/girl)Friend : I know a guy , he cries like a girl every-time he sees sad endings.

Me: Correction , he cries .period. Girls cry , guys cry. In-fact any human with emotions will cry. So he cries .

Friend: Here comes the supporter of the woman  ! Y don’t u take it on a lighter note .

Me: Well , I did for many years . Many do , which is the reason for the existence of this usage.

 

Colleague : Stop gossiping like a girl man !

Me: ahm , excuse me? (I ain’t gonna tolerate this every-time) . That’s very offensive I must say. I hope at-least educated people understand this.

 

Class mate: Y do u want to work when u can get married and chill? I have to work because I’m a guy

Girl: Because , I did not get bonus marks for being a girl in exams. I studied just as hard as u . I have to work because I’m a girl .

 

A stranger in bus: I see that you are travelling alone , where is ur husband?

Me: I am unmarried , I’m still studying.

Stranger: Haw! Girls shouldn’t study so much ! Just do some degree and get married , he will support u. Shop all day and enjoy.

Me: Looks like u r stuck in ancient times. Thank you for ur advice. But , please dont stop ur girl from studying if she wants to.

 

The most common one – your favorite color must be pink because you are a girl!

me: I have no favorite color. Yes , I don’t . I like each color on different things.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20141117-the-pink-vs-blue-gender-myth

While many support girls studying now, small things like -stop acting like a girl , don’t cry like a girl , don’t be a girl , don’t gossip like a girl , don’t run like a girl etc etc – hurt even though we/I might not show it out , because if I do .. – I over react for everything because I’m a girl.

I hope people stop using those phrases . It’s not hard I promise. Next time just say stop gossiping , don’t cry.. isn’t it easy? Try it.

There is an ad that I came across which pretty much summarizes it all :

 

Image courtesy: Google images

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My thoughts on Vogue Empower video..


 

As I was randomly changing the channels , I suddenly came across this video of Vogue .. I’ve seen it a couple of times before but never completely / never paying attention (as for every ad ) . But when I saw it completely it shocked me!

 I was expecting an entirely different message from it the way it started. It starts with a cute lil just born being said “boys don’t cry by his father! A just born baby! Sigh! That itself startled me.. I was like Okayy, whats’ this!! and continued watching it .. and then of a cute lil boy around 1 year crying to bathe.. As soon as I saw this boy , me and my sis were like he looks like our newphew so cute and then his mother tells the same dialogue…

It proceeds with cute video clips of baby boys being told “Ladke rothe nahin!” (BOYS DONT CRY) on various occasions…. on the first day to school,,.. while being left for the first class on the first day of school…when the mother leaves the kid to go out of town…when hurt while playing ..on the first swim lesson … when faced with an injection…

It’s then the grown ups being told the same by their peers! When he loses the football match ,when he wins a trophy,when he is heart broken .. and the next image would be that of a man holding a girls hand tightly…

Pausing at this frame I thought its the guy asking the girl not to leave him..the way he is trying to swallow the emotions ,the way he is trying hard not to cry because he grew up hearing “Boys dont cry!”  I felt the message would be “Don’t hold the emotions” or something on the similar lines.. Stating how unfair it is to hold the emotions inside and break from within…

Continuing..  I saw he was actually hurting her by physically abusing her ! Yet , I still thought the message would be “If you hold the emotions, you lose the concept of emotions” i.e that would backfire and make you emotionless,violent. So please don’t make monsters out of innocent boys..

But, the actual message is instead of teaching “ladke rothe nahin” teach “ladke rulate nahin” ! That truly shocked me! I’m all for empowering women and going against physical abuse. I appreciate what they are trying to do, but this .. I definitely didn’t like! It would have been nice if for once , it spoke about the unfairness towards guys as well…

That being said ,feminism has totally gained a very bad reputation in the society .It’s being totally misunderstood that I sometimes shy away from using that word just to avoid the explanation needed after it.  I hear my friends saying “Ye completely feminist hai! Obviously ladkiyon ko hi support karegi” etc..  and they mean I support girls all the time ! That’s very disappointing to hear though ideally i shouldn’t be ,as the word used is perfect, but the intent of using it holds an entirely different meaning and that disappoints me! I believe feminism is fairness to every gender!

If ladies not being allowed to go out to study is unfair , telling guys to not cry and man up is equally unfair! That’s feminism being just and fair.. from my perspective..

I hope this article clears any mis-conceptions people might have about feminism and start taking it as a positive thing from now on.. 🙂

Find the video here: